


All I’d Ever Hoped For (If only you’d hoped, too)

by catacoons



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-18
Updated: 2014-07-18
Packaged: 2018-02-09 08:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1976208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catacoons/pseuds/catacoons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a sad little drabble i wrote after my other fic, four ways to say</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I’d Ever Hoped For (If only you’d hoped, too)

          It wasn’t a sad day, why would it be? The sun was shining down and all I could do was bask in your glory. Oh, how beautiful you are, how lucky I are to call you mine. How beautiful it was every day spending beside you, laughing and talking about the silly things we noticed that day. How wonderful it was to just be with you, smiles stretching across our lips as jokes were passed back and forth, grins appearing with hugs to push the grey skies away when one of us were having a bad day. It was fantastic, just being with you. This little system we had worked out was perfect,  _we_  were perfect.

 

That was, until things got  _better_. How, I’d never know, but you managed to become more flawless, and the world became clear to me. Under no circumstances should I let you go, nor would I let anyone hurt you. No, we aren’t together, but god please know I’m trying. I wake up in the morning, your eyes and lips and smile and face crossing my vision, a blur of what I knew I’d miss if I didn’t act soon. I knew I had to, otherwise you’d slip away like sand through my fingers. You were the sun, and I the lowly flower, no, the grass. Which can only prosper with the sun, but I need the sad rainy days in order to survive, too.

 

You were beautiful, and I was nothing to compare. It wasn’t that I was  _bad_  looking, I just wasn’t the  _prettiest_  flower of the bunch. See, my constant references to flowers? It’s because I love them so much, as much as I love you. You see, though, I have trouble forming words sometimes, and it’s hard for me to get things out right. So, continue my dancing around the point and fleeing the premises when chances come up. I was so used to running away from things that made me conflicted, so I never knew how to ask, never knew the words to say.

 

Until one day, the time rolled around and life seemed to be treating me right. I had flowers, I had dinner, I had  _everything_  planned out right.

 

It was all I’d ever hoped for.

 

~~~

 

It was all you’d ever hoped for.

 

And I knew I shouldn’t decline, but you knew me too well. You knew I needed time, and I know you’d given me enough. But I still thought I could run, just like I know you had. I’d tried to hard I thought I was wrong, so I hid it away behind smiles and comforting words. I’d tried to keep it light and  _friendly_ , because I thought that’s what you’d wanted.

 

I guess I was wrong. You were scared, believe me, I was too; you didn’t know the words to say and I just had enough courage to say them when I wanted to. You, on the other hand, were very good at dancing- dancing around the point. Skirting about the conversations as if treading thin ice. You knew I was fragile, but I was never so breakable as glass windowpanes.

 

That was, until the day had rolled around. It was beautiful, the dinner, the flowers, the gifts and words you’d showered me with. I knew how much you cared, but I never thought… “I’m sorry,” The words had passed with a broken look in my eyes. No matter what I tried after, I knew I’d ruined it. “Please, I know how much you put into this, and I know now how much I mean to you, I just..” You looked to me, a hurt rage blazing in your eyes. “Need what?  _More_  time? I’ve given you, what, months?  _Years_? You still need time?” You shook your head, laughing quietly.

 

“No, I’ve given you your time, and you’ve made your choice. Have fun at dinner.” With that you sashayed off, and out of my life. I was sat at the table, I ate the food, I went home. It was all I could do to not break down once the door closed behind you. I’d wanted to flee, to run after, I knew you just had to cool down… You just had to chill out for a minute, right? You weren’t leaving me, right?

 

Guess I was wrong. I was always wrong, wasn’t I? It was a funny thing, life. How it had been going so perfectly, for so long. But, we all know, life isn’t perfect. I picked up the shattered pieces of my previously fractured heart, tried putting it back together; I always knew you were the glue, the tape, the substance keeping me together. Little did I know that when you were gone it would immediately fall apart.

 

When I saw you, later that week, month, year…. When I saw you years later, you still had me shut out. You wouldn’t talk, you wouldn’t  _listen_. It was all I could do but not grab you and shake you, begging you with tears streaming down my face as I pleaded that I’d had enough time, I knew a moment too late; I needed you. I  _still_  need you. You’d brush me away, without a word, and continue on your way. I found out too late, you were married, had kids.  _Oh_.

 

It was all you’d ever hoped for..

  
  


If only I’d hoped, too..


End file.
